This has always been one of my all time favorite songs and was originally going to go into my break-up mixtape but I felt it needed more attention than that. The burning question on everybodys lips for the last 38 years has been ‘why did Paul lead us in with 50 but only give us 5?’ Did he run out of time? Did he get bored? Or was it only really Jack, Stan, Roy, Lee and Gus who needed his help in the first place? Nobody really knows the answer but I hope those guys worked it out and that their plight was lessened by their helpful friend Paul Simon and his insightful, wise and not at all lame advice. If only Gus had thought about hopping on a bus BEFORE PS went through all the trouble of writing a song about it and if ONLY bloody Roy would stop being so bloody coy. Anyway, I decided to pitch in for all his other buddy’s out there who are in similar situations and I think you’ll find my suggestions are a lot more thorough. Heres a page from the zine.
My favorite is suggesting Toby move to Nairobi, wisest decision he’ll ever make. Just to recap on the first 25 ways: Step out the back, Jack. Make a new plan, Stan. No need to be coy, Roy. Hop on the bus, Gus. Drop off the key, Lee. Fake your own death, Steph. Start dating Barry, Harry. Slag off her meal, Neil. Don’t give a damn, Sam. Blow off a date, Nate. Run over the cat, Matt. Act like you’re God, Todd.Drink all her juice, Bruce. Kill a swan, John. Hold up a bank, Frank. Start wearing a wreath, Keith. Give her the flu, Stu. Get thrown in jail, Dale. Make some outrageous claims, James. Feed her to a shark, Mark. Be a dick, Mick. Move to Nairobi, Toby. Join the mob, Bob. Move into your nans, Hans. Just leave, Steve.
More options to come or feel free to offer some of your own advice on our facebook page and I will credit you right here!
S.I
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